Happy New Year everyone. This is Tammie and I have hijacked Isabella’s article this month.
I thought I would share a little bit of my journey as the mother of a child that is differently abled. I will start with a little backstory of why we consider Isabella our miracle child.
We struggled for several years to get pregnant and during this time I had three miscarriages and lost Isabella’s twin sister at 22 weeks gestation. Isabella was born 13 weeks prematurely and weighed one pound and five ounces at birth.
She has overcome more obstacles already in her youth than most of us will experience in our lifetimes. She amazed us with her fighting spirit even before she was born. She was outsmarting her therapists before she was one and she was reading before she was two years old. She was diagnosed as being on the autism spectrum at the age of three.
While we were pleased and satisfied with the knowledge of the diagnosis and how it would assist us to help her reach her maximum potential, it was also emotionally exhausting for me.
I had to take time to process all the emotions that came with the diagnosis. They include but are not limited to relief, fear and anxiety, but the emotion I struggled with the most was grief.
I had to grieve that my child was not going to experience all the things that I had imagined or dreamed for her. A lot of those dreams changed in a matter of minutes. As I look at the diagnosis now, joy replaces those initial emotions—joy that some of these things didn’t or aren’t happening, joy in the change or modification of the dreams and watching her realize those new dreams.
We have one of the happiest young ladies there is. She doesn’t have the social pressures of her peers; she doesn’t feel the need to conform to what the world expects and is able to truly be herself. That is a blessing.
The journey is not and has not been all sunshine and roses. There are many ranges of emotions during the challenging times as well.
There are some very trying days. Luckily those occur less frequently as she has gotten older. The meltdowns are the hardest and at times can result in violent outbursts.
The biggest struggle is getting her back into reality and past that point where she blocks the world out and is unaware of what she is doing. As frustrating as these times are, her caring nature surfaces as she later has time to calmly process what has happened, she will melt your heart as she apologizes in her own way.
One of the greatest things that has come out of this journey is the village that we have built that loves and cares for Isabella. She has the uncanny ability to win your heart without saying a word but when she speaks, she lights up the world around her. She is gifted with the ability to speak the truth, so if you don’t want an honest answer then don’t ask the question.
All through school she has adopted her “school mommies.” These are the teachers that she has built the strongest bond with, and I can’t express how grateful I am for them. They are also among her biggest cheerleaders and keep a vigilant watch over her and help her through the hard days.
She has a network of friends who accept her and love her and her quirks. She has classmates who know her well and help teachers and other peers understand her. She is surrounded by love as are we as her parents.
The initial emotions of the diagnosis have been replaced not only with joy but with hope, happiness and gratitude. She has taught me more than I can ever teach her.
I have learned communication is the key to success when advocating for Isabella.
I have also learned the to collaborate and compromise.
I have learned to appreciate the smallest of things because they bring the greatest joy.
I have learned to fully trust God because although I had different ideas in the beginning, he has shown me that he has it all under control and the outcome will far exceed any expectations that I may have had.