Mincey’s Musings
Year Two, Week Five

Once again, federal income tax season is upon us. Perhaps nothing is worse than being deemed guilty when convinced of innocence, especially when it costs money.

Once upon a time an individual named Romilly completed a graduate degree. Romilly went to a well-esteemed tax preparation organization for assistance in filing his federal income taxes the following year. Romilly and his closest collegiate buddies had discussed among themselves and decided to declare their educational expenses as deductions, and both Romilly and his tax advisor agreed this was allowable.

Romilly was aggravated, not frightened, when he received notification that he was being audited for the tax year in which he had received his graduate degree. He was so (over)confident that he was right that he did not even consult his tax advisor but went to the audit alone (lesson one—never be confident when tax audits are involved).

Romilly conducted himself to the decreed location on a street named for an insect (most appropriate, as Romilly felt plagued) for his interview (interrogation). He was late because he could not find a parking place (lesson two—never be late when facing the government).

Romilly’s apology went unacknowledged, the first clue that he would suffer for the fifteen minute delay. The second clue was that his assigned auditor had one of the few office cubicles with corner walls, and on one of those walls hung a plaque the auditor had received for uncovering the most tax fraud in a previous year. Romilly was soon to discover the intervening years had not affected her touch! Her first name was reminiscent of a very soft, silken fabric (so unlike the sandpaper her personality exuded).

She asked Romilly several questions, designed to gather information. She deduced that Romilly had properly filed as head of household and that his dependent could legitimately be claimed as a deduction. She questioned that Romilly had recently received a job promotion at the place he had worked for a decade and could not have qualified for the new position without the credentials made possible by the degree for which expenses Romilly had deducted.

“Sandy” informed Romilly that his educational expense was disallowed, as the degree had qualified him for a new profession. Romilly’s argument that he was still in the same field, even with the same company, though with a different assignment met with a sarcastic scream, “IT’S A MATTER OF INTERPRETATION!”

“Sandy” told Romilly that he could appeal to tax court, but she was not going to fine him interests and penalties at that point as she thought he had made an honest “mistake”.

Should Romilly decide to defer the matter to tax court and be found guilty, then he would be assessed additional fines, penalties and court costs.

In a roundabout way, Romilly paid penalties anyway. He paid credit card interest on the $1,000 he was intimidated to repay. To add insult to injury, Romilly found a $5 parking ticket on his windshield as the parking meter expired while he was being rubbed the wrong way.

The lyrics to the introduction of a very short running situation comedy from a few decades ago called “Beat the System” came bitterly to Romilly’s mind:

It’s hard to lick the US government,
They’re taxing us and taking every cent,
The money comes and goes, and before you even know,
That here it was a coming, there it went.