Mincey’s Musings
Year One, Week Twelve

Two weeks ago I shared an instance in which I let the preconceived notions of others affect the way I felt about my work study supervisor. Last week I shared instances in which I have incorrectly judged a person to be kind. This week I will relate instances where impressions have come into play for (and against) me.
Sometimes I am around those who give their honest opinions about various things and people. I have myself said of some, “If s/he was standing on a stack of Bibles shaking hands with Jesus himself I wouldn’t believe a word s/he said.” I always find it amusing if someone then asks me, “What’s your real opinion?”
For the last few years of his life, my brother J. C. and I took several vacations together. He had suffered from at least two bouts of cancer, and somehow I knew he would not live many more years.
The first year we went to Las Vegas, Nevada. I never had a desire to go there, but
J. C. wanted to. In my mind, I thought we would take a drive for a few hours one day and go to the Ponderosa Ranch near Lake Tahoe, Nevada. It turned out the distance between Las Vegas and Lake Tahoe was greater than anticipated, so J. C. said we would go there the next year.
And we did, only to discover that the Ponderosa Ranch had been closed for six years. This did not deter us, however; after visiting Virginia City, Nevada, we drove across the Golden Gate Bridge, turned around and stopped at one of the most fascinating attractions I have ever seen, the Winchester Mystery House in San Jose, California. That will be an article for another day.
The next year we traveled north to the Air Force Museum in Ohio, to Niagara Falls, southward through the Chesapeake Tunnel, then back home.
There was one year that we traveled to three major beaches and never once put a toe in the sand of either. I realized that my brother was trying to relive the most enjoyable parts of his life in a very short time, and we just enjoyed each other’s company.
I loved and cherished this time with my brother. A gap of many years dictated that we could never have certain things in common (there were over thirty years between us, as we were half-brothers, sons of our father’s two wives), and I often wondered what he thought of me.
I accidentally found out on one of our trips. We wound up at a state park, exactly where I don’t remember. J. C. grew tired and sat for a while as I went exploring on my own. When I returned, I found J. C. engaged in conversation with a park ranger.
J. C. was never one short of words, and he and the ranger were talking at length. As I walked up, J. C. didn’t know I heard him tell the ranger, “Take my brother, for example. Just to talk to him, you’d think he was as country as cornbread, but he’s smart as h---.” That was one of the finest compliments I ever received.
This proved to me more than anything that my brother held me in high regard. Unfortunately, there are those who seem to hold others in high regard but ultimately reveal their true motives.
Years ago, I was a delegate to the Tennessee Education Association Representative Assembly in Nashville. I encountered a lady from a neighboring county. This lady singled me out, called me by name, and struck up a most intense conversation. In a few minutes, she handed me a card and asked me to help elect her to an office in the association. I gladly voted for this newfound “friend”.
The next year I passed by this lady and warmly greeted her. She did not even bother to turn her head to speak as she briskly passed by. I don’t remember whether she won her election or not, but one thing was now clear—my usefulness for her had ended. She was a “friend” only when she needed a friend. I never again had the opportunity, but no amount of money would have caused me to vote for her ever again.
Is it any wonder so many politicians have a bad name?
When I taught at Luttrell, there was a parent who would call me several times every summer. We always had long, friendly conversations, and they ultimately wrapped around which faculty members would be teaching what grades. When her oldest child arrived at the grade I taught, she requested the other teacher. Once again, my usefulness had ended. My feathers were soothed later in the year when that child approached me and said, “I wish I was in your room.”
One final tale. I dated a girl in college. Her father was most kind to me, but her mother never thought I measured up to what she had in mind for her daughter. How did I know this? Her daughter told me!
On one occasion my love told me, “Mother said you’re going to have to have an awful good job to support my standard of living.” I replied, “Honey, you might just have to curb that standard of living.” On another occasion her mother told her that teachers were a dime a dozen, especially English teachers.
After college we parted ways, unhappily, I’m sad to say. Years later, I came home from a school board meeting and my mother said, “You’ll never guess who called here.” It was my former love’s mother.
My mother told me that my former love’s mother said the worst mistake she ever made was interfering when I proposed to her daughter. It seems that the girl had married one who, in her mother’s eyes, didn’t even measure up to an English teacher! Suddenly, I didn’t seem like such a bad catch after all. Word was left that I could call my former love any time I wished, but I called the girl’s mother the next day and said, “I don’t exactly think it would be proper to call another man’s wife, do you?”
There have been movies in which a character could read the thoughts of others. I thank God that not only do I not have the ability, but I am grateful that others can’t read my thoughts about them! It has always bothered me when others didn’t seem to like me for whatever reason, but I always felt perfectly justified when I didn’t particularly care for someone else.
Next I will share my final thoughts on the impressions of others.