I have a neighbor who has many statues of animals in her yard. I jokingly told her one day, “I’m worried about your livestock. I’m afraid they’ll wander into the road and get killed or cause someone to wreck.”
I also expressed concern at what the cost must be to feed all those animals.
I have never been one to try to “keep up with the Joneses,” but sometimes life circumstances just present the opportunity.
Last Saturday I received a phone call. It was from my nephew, a deacon of the church I attend. The church was having its annual cleaning day, and items that the church would no longer be using were either being thrown out or given away.
Sadly, after over 30 years of meritorious service in countless Christmas pageants, the church was going to get rid of its six-foot camel, its miniature donkey and two sheep. My nephew called to see if I would like to have this flock—otherwise, if no one could be found to take the animals, they were destined for the dump.
Oh, how many sweet young ladies had ridden that donkey sidesaddle over the years as they portrayed Mary, the mother of Jesus, on her way the Bethlehem, the city where her son was to be born? How, you ask, could Mary ride a stuffed donkey?
This stuffed donkey was mounted on a platform with wheels. There is a bridle attached, and the young man who portrayed Joseph would pull Mary “down the aisle” to the stable in Bethlehem.
I remember one Christmas program. Pastor Oliver Wolfenbarger was sitting on the aisle end of a pew toward the front on the far left side of the church. I was sitting directly behind him. When Mary was being pulled down the aisle, the preacher looked over, and just about the time she got right next to him he shouted out “GLORY!”
It scared Eugene Brantley and me to death, and I’m sure had the actual expectant mother of Jesus been riding that donkey, Jesus might have been born prematurely before arriving at the manger.
I told my nephew to try to find someone else to assume ownership of the herd, and that if no one else wanted the animals I would take them. Dear Reader, you can probably assume the rest. Less than an hour later, my nephew called again to tell me I was the proud owner of Clyde the Camel with his friends the donkey and two sheep.
My wonderful nephew was even gracious enough to deliver them to me. Perhaps you saw a truck with a camel’s head hanging upside down over the tailgate, much like an alcoholic who could not hold his liquor.
I am now in the market to find homes for my flock before they can eat me out of house and home. I am going to contact some churches to see if they are interested in acquiring these wonderful creatures for their programs. Wish me luck on finding homes for these orphans.
I leave you with the Question of the Week along with some thoughts from my email world.
ANSWER TO QUESTION OF THE WEEK # 9
What do you see from the Eiffel Tower? Parasites
QUESTION OF THE WEEK # 10
What do you call two physicians? (See next week’s article for the answer.)
Donkeys kill more people annually than plane crashes or shark attacks.
(So, watch your ---).
Turtles can breathe through their BUTTS! (I know some people like that, don't YOU?)
A duck’s quack doesn't echo and no one knows why.
Something a true Southern boy would never say: Too many deer heads detract from the decor.
Something else a true Southern boy would never say: No kids in the back of the pickup, it’s just not safe.
Wisdom of the Farmer: Always drink upstream from the herd.
Lettin’ the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier than puttin’ it back in.
Your fences need to be horse-high, pig-tight and bull-strong.
Keep skunks and bankers at a distance.
A Somewhat Dated Statement from Louisiana State Senator John Kennedy: “Chuck Schumer just moo’s and follows Nancy Pelosi into the cow chute.”
Tigers have striped skin, not just striped fur.
Cats have over one hundred vocal sounds. Dogs only have about 10.
In the last 4,000 years, no new animals have been domesticated.
See God’s Wisdom in the making of an elephant: The four legs of this great beast all bend forward in the same direction. No other quadruped is so made. God planned that this animal would have a huge body too large to live on two legs. For this reason, He gave it four fulcrums so that it can rise from the ground easily.
The horse rises from the ground on its two front legs first.
A cow rises from the ground with its two hind legs first.
From the Hollywood Squares:
Q. Who stays pregnant for a longer period of time, your wife or your elephant?
A. Paul Lynde: Who told you about my elephant?