Mincey’s Musings
Year One, Week Forty

I have for some time been writing down words that people use in “quirky” ways. I find it interesting the way people often misspeak words unintentionally, often rendering thought provoking meanings. A few examples follow.

A country woman had an opportunity to eat in a fancy restaurant. Trying to impress her companions, she ordered a “ward off” salad. Though that was not on the menu, the waiter directed the lady to the Waldorf salad as an excellent choice to ward off unwanted calories.

A country boy was called to preach. Wishing to be sufficiently prepared to enter his calling, the young man decided he would enroll in a few “cemetery” courses to help him better understand the Bible. To ensure that his protégé did not fall victim to dead sermons that would fall on deaf ears, his pastor directed him to the dean of the seminary he himself had attended.

A teacher told her son to go outside and play with his friends one day after school. After playing for quite a while, the boy was asked if his mother wouldn’t be upset that he had stayed out so late. “Naw,” replied the boy. “Mom’s busy writing her ‘lesion’ plans.” Though perhaps it had been painful, the boy’s mother called him to come back inside after her lesson plans were finished.

A man once reminisced about his teacher, Ms. Valvoline. His friend said, “Don’t you mean Ms. Vauda Lee?” The man replied, “Yeah, Ms. Valvoline.” Interestingly, the teacher taught history, not auto mechanics.

A Sunday School teacher was teaching her class about Abraham being circumcised in obedience to God’s command. One of the boy’s mothers asked her son what he had learned in Sunday School. He replied, “We learned all about Abraham being ‘circus sized’.”

A girl found a Braille book in the library. She took it to her mother and said, “I just found a “burial” book.”

A preacher told his congregation that he just loved the singing of the old hymns. A little girl tapped her mother on the shoulder and whispered, “Do we ever sing about the old ‘hers’?”

It seems young Melissa was having trouble learning to tie her shoes. She was a very “knotty” girl.

A preacher was requesting prayer for the family of one of the dearly departed parishioners. That night, as his son said his bedtime prayers, the preacher was amused to hear his child pray for the family of the “dearly depotted”.

Next week I’ll share about how some very common words have changed their meaning throughout the years.