Some say there is nothing new under the sun. I disagree. There is always a new diet making the rounds. You can be sure that after the Thanksgiving and Christmas holiday season the television will be overflowing with them. Old diet plans resurface with a new twist. Who do they think they're kidding? Those slim adolescent beauties were never fat. Put a fifty year old overweight mama of six kids on their diet plan and see if she is not a bunch of wrinkles. That is, if she is able to stay on their diet.

I found the ultimate diet in one of my scrapbooks. It is about sixty years old, older than most dieters. It is definitely a low calorie diet. The restaurant (to remain nameless) advertised fifty years of popularity. They said their food was extraordinary but not expensive. I remember eating there many times. Their food was all of that, but definitely not low calorie.

On the diet you see here, the seafood diet for Friday (yes, that was back in the meatless Friday days) would have been expensive if unattainable. Can you see in your mind's eye that guppy filet rotating on the rotisserie? It would be difficult see if even to baste. One tail joint of a sea horse? Come on now.

Silly humor at diet time is not fair. A diet is no laughing matter. OK, so I am having fun with it. I am an expert on dieting. Throughout my ninety years I have tried about every diet know to man or beast. So, I lose a few pounds at first. All diets work that way. But go to a potluck dinner and see if you have enough strength to avoid that succulent nicely browned fried chicken breast or the fresh strawberry cheesecake with real whipped cream. If you can, you have more willpower than Charlie Brown or me. Stay out of my sight. I don't want to know you.

Where is this leading, you say? This is the time of the year that some of us, not me, start to think of the swimsuit season that is fast approaching. The best I can do is try to stay at the same dress size. There are serious health reasons for dieting. We all know that, but let's have a little fun with the subject. I like liver, but broiled butterfly liver, really now!