I remember this story from the fifth grade language book from which I was taught in school.
There was a Texan who bragged to a New Yorker that everything in Texas was, “Big, BIG, BIIGGG!!!!”
The New Yorker asked the Texan if he wanted to see something really big. The New Yorker took the Texan to Niagara Falls. Said the New Yorker, “I bet you don’t have anything that big in Texas!”
Replied the Texan, “No, but I know a plumber that can fix it for you.”
There are admittedly some things that I like to be appreciably large. The first thing that comes to my mind is Thanksgiving dinner. That is one meal I look forward to every year, partly because of happy memories of Thanksgivings past but in great measure because turkey and dressing is my favorite meal.
I also like huge libraries and museums filled with interesting historical books and artifacts. One of the most beautiful places I have seen is the library at Biltmore House. I am eagerly looking forward to the reopening of the Lincoln Museum at Lincoln Memorial University in Harrogate, Tennessee after its multi-million-dollar renovation.
As I age, I find that bigger is better when it comes to the printed word. I’ve worn glasses since I was eight years old, and that was sufficient for years. I have noticed recently that I do have to have a magnifier to see extremely small print. I find it always useful to read the small print, especially when it comes to contractual agreements.
I have found bigger is better when it comes to a warm fire in a winter fireplace. It seems the baggier the sweatshirts and larger and thicker the blankets the more enjoyable and warmer the fire. A just-so-right thick quilt on a bed in a cool bedroom seems to make the winter season just fine.
Finally, who can argue with a large paycheck and bank account? Life is not all about wealth and greed, but it does take a certain amount of cash to live comfortably in this world. It is truly a blessing from God to not have to worry about finances.
Unfortunately, there are a great many people in this world who are unable to experience large meals, for whom libraries and museums hold no interest, who are unable to enjoy the written word, who don’t live in warm houses and don’t have sufficient financial means to live comfortably. It is saddest of all when circumstances beyond people’s control relegates them to live uncertain lives.
I used to spend a great deal of time pondering why some prosper and others suffer, particularly why bad things happen to “good” people and “bad” things happen to good people.
I have come to understand that “good” and “bad” are relative terms whose meaning varies from person to person. Things just happen to people. One day we’re healthy, the next we’re diagnosed with terminal illness. One day we’re employed, the next day we’re outsourced or transferred. One day we’re living comfortably, the next a natural disaster wipes out the accumulated possessions of a lifetime.
I have concluded that things happen to people. I was surprised to arrive at such a seemingly simple conclusion after so many years of pondering, but the story of Job in the Bible and this verse seem to support my conclusion: “That ye may be the children of your Father which is in heaven: for He maketh his sun to rise on the evil and on the good, and sendeth rain on the just and on the unjust.” (Matthew 5:45 KJV)
There are times that smaller is far preferable to size and quantity. Take shots, for example. The smaller the needle, the happier am I!
I also prefer smaller cars to larger. I know people who are tall that need larger cars for comfort, but my 5 ft. 7 in. frame fits well into smaller cars. Give me a combination of a small car that gets high mileage per gallon and lower gas prices and you have one happy individual.
I never seem to know what my monthly credit card bill will be. There are those months that I am extremely unhappy with how much has been spent in my household, and there are others when I almost think the company sent me someone else’s lower bill.
And then there are wait times. Sometimes I go to the doctor and am seen almost instantly, done within the half hour.
Then there was the recent time that I had a craving for a particular fast food rather late in the evening. I thought it would only take a few minutes to “run through” the drive through—I was there for over an hour. It seems the establishment was working about half shift because the restaurant could not secure enough employees for a full shift—work was at half capacity, according to the worker who finally brought me my food. Was it worth the hour’s wait? Yes and no.
I could go on with other examples of when smaller is better, such as A1C blood sugar and cholesterol levels.
However, I will close with a dread scourge for all man- and womankind—the dreaded kidney stones! You want those suckers to be big enough for the doctor to find but small enough so they don’t become impossibly impassable.
I remember my first kidney stone. I was so proud to have survived it that I placed it in a medicine bottle so I could “brag” about surviving my experience.
My good friend Mark Martin also had a kidney stone, and he also preserved his. Playing the neverending classic game of “Show me yours, I’ll show you mine,” I foolishly went first.
Then Mr. Martin produced his. I wish he had shown me his first, for I would have undoubtedly accidently have “lost” mine. The size of his stone made mine look like a fine grain of sand. I was so impressed that I asked if he had to have his stone surgically removed. Amazingly he did not.
Not that I am that sorry that his was so much larger—I’m sure he suffered accordingly, and if his suffering was much greater than mine, I don’t know how he endured.
May God preserve you from kidney stones.
Until we meet again via the printed word (and I hope you don’t need a magnifying glass to read it), consider these things from my world of email that will make you smarter.
Women blink nearly twice as much as men.
(I’d like—not—to read that research study!)
There are more chickens than people in the world.
(Doesn’t seem to help the chickens much, though, does it?)
The cruise liner, QE2, moves only six inches for each gallon of diesel that it burns.
(Talk about lousy gas mileage! Now you know why a cruise is so expensive.)
A dime has 118 ridges around the edge.
(And it’s still only worth ten cents!)