I was on my way to work a few days ago when I saw a message on a local business’ signboard:
TRUST IN
GOD
LUNCH
BBQ
My warped sense of humor kicked in. I would never in my life have equated lunch and BBQ to be on a level with God. Then again, I’ve never literally starved, either. I have been blessed in life a few times for God to have provided me with BBQ for lunch, most pleasantly at the 33 Diner, my all-time favorite place on this earth to eat.
There was another occasion that I saw this message on a church’s sign:
GOD IS LOVE
RUMMAGE SALE
Again, I would never have equated God with rummage. Many of my rummage experiences have been more reminiscent of the opposite extreme.
There was a time that I did enjoy going to (never having or helping with) rummage sales to find books and trinkets. Thankfully (may God be praised!) I now have more books than I can store, and I have no room for more lovely trinkets, though I count it a blessing when a friend gives me some more books or a nice decorative trinket. For gifts from friends, there is always room for more.
The message from another sign has remained with me since my undergraduate college days:
WHY WASTE MY TIME,
WHILE WASTING YOURS?
This sign was written in a bold black marker on a quarter section of white poster board that was yellowed with age and the incessant smoke from Dr. Louis Lutz’s cigars. I was Dr. Lutz’s work study student for a couple of years. He was a most colorful, eccentric individual, and he had little patience for foolishness. He was also not always the most endearing of souls.
He once told in my hearing of his nextdoor neighbor. When the neighbor moved in, he attempted to make Dr. Lutz’s acquaintance, but Dr. Lutz obviously did not feel the need for friendship.
He said he told his neighbor, “Let me tell you one !@##$%^ thing. I have no use for you, and you have less for me. You stay the &*(( on that side of the fence, and I’ll stay the &*(( on this side, and we’ll get along just fine.”
Dr. Lutz laughingly said that the guy had lived next door to him for thirty years and had never spoken another word to him. That suited Dr. Lutz just fine.
My experience with Dr. Lutz was different. He once told me I was the best #$%^ work study student he ever had, except I didn’t know a #$%^ thing about biology!
Dr. Lutz was good to me, and I enjoyed working for him. This did not mean I was immune to his more impatient side. I received my share of cussing to my face, but that was just Dr. Lutz. I never took it personally.
There were times that I would feel the need to study for a test or do a class project. I would ask Dr. Lutz for the day off, and he always accommodated me.
He once said, “Mincey, don’t you think I know that some of these times you’re asking off—you don’t want to study! You just want to be with your girlfriend!”
Though I never asked for time off for that reason, Dr. Lutz was not a person to be argued with. I replied, “What would you say if I asked you for time off to be with my girlfriend?”
He said, “I’d probably say ‘Go on and have a good time’.” And he probably would.
One final sign. I was driving on the interstate coming back from a conference with a colleague. I was the passenger, so I had more leisure to look around than if I had been driving.
We were following a vehicle that was advertising for a tax service. They had a most interesting slogan:
WE DO TAXES
YOU DO TIME
Where would I do this time? Attica? Brushy Mountain? Folsom? Rikers Island? Actually, I know the slogan is intended to mean that I will have leisure time for my personal recreation if I allow this company to prepare my tax returns, but there is the possibility that a bad tax return resulting in an equally bad audit could definitely result in the other kind of time.
There are other kinds of signs, also. I remember in college passing by a bank sign that said:
DON’T KISS OUR GIRLS—
THEY’RE ALL TELLERS
Probably good advice to be taken, both literally and figuratively.
Thank you once again, Dear Reader, for taking a few moments of your life to let me share my thoughts. I leave you with some other email thoughts to season your week.
Prison is just one word to you, but for some people, it's a whole sentence.
When one door closes and another door opens, you are probably in prison.
Today I saw a dwarf climbing down a prison wall. I thought to myself: "That's a little condescending.”