Mincey’s Musings
Year One, Week 21

My mind sometimes wanders back forty-five years ago to my third grade class. Florence Chesney used practically every minute of every day teaching us moral values, especially in reading class.

Remember the pictures in those old readers? They practically begged us to read the stories we were assigned. Ms. Chesney read every story aloud to us, enunciating each word and phrase exactly the way she wished us to express it when we read aloud later in the week. In other words, she taught by example.

The Good Witch Glenda in The Wizard of Oz asked Dorothy, “Are you a good witch, or a bad witch?’ In his book Who You Are When No One’s Looking: Choosing Consistency, Resisting Compromise, Bill Hybels says that character can be determined by what we do when no one is looking. Hybels identifies five endangered characteristics of true character. The first is courage. The second is discipline.

When we think of discipline, perhaps many of us go back to the time that our dads beat our underwear-clad bottom with a blue yardstick. Perhaps we think back to the time when our first grade teacher smacked our hands with a ruler or swatted our legs with a flyswatter. Possibly we remember having to wear a squirrel’s tail pinned to our britches to let everyone know we were a “tattle-tale.” Perhaps we remember when our fifth grade teacher smacked our bottom with a “bolo” paddle. Perhaps we remember when our high school principal positioned us with our hands on the ledge of the window in his office so we could receive three licks, the first which made us wish that we could jump through that window to escape the second and third licks.

While these examples might have been called discipline, they were “outer” discipline that was designed to develop “inner” discipline, which many might term “self-control.” We don’t always do the things we want to do because we do not wish to suffer the consequences.

Hybels lists three elements that when added together lead to discipline. The first is delayed gratification. That is often hard in what I call our “microwave society.” For years our society has been used to fast food and three minute oats; gratification comes even quicker now that we have microwave ovens to instantly heat food for quick eating. We can now order on line and have items delivered to our doorsteps without even leaving the house. Conventional mail is called “snail mail” now that we have fax machines, email and social media. So often youth enter the job market expecting to make the same or higher wages than those who have been working at the same jobs for many years. We don’t want our first home to be a starter house.

But what does delayed gratification entail? Basically, it means taking care of responsibilities and making sacrifices before partaking in more pleasurable life activities. When I began the doctoral program at Lincoln Memorial University, Professor Gary Peevly described it as a very intense, two year process. He told me that for two years I would have to put that program first if I wished to graduate successfully on time. He told me to go home and discuss this with my wife—he suggested that if the wife were not supportive that it would be best not to enroll in the program. I followed his advice, my wife was willing, and our marriage survived, though there have been tales of marriages that fell victim to higher education.

Part of our doctoral program was an initial two week “boot camp.” We were in class six days a week from 8:00 a.m. to 5:00 p.m. in the afternoon. There was library research and homework to be done from the time dinner ended at 6:30 p.m. until exhaustion made a dorm room bed comfortable once again. One of our fellow students told me about the end of day three, “I’m going to think really hard about this tonight to see if I want to go through this. I’ll know in the morning.” He appeared for breakfast the next morning, and I said, “I see you’ve decided to tough it out.” He replied, “No, I’m leaving after breakfast.” (My wife said he must have wanted to be sure to get his last meal.) This friend decided that it wasn’t worth delaying gratification to obtain a graduate degree.

I thought about quitting myself, but my wife told me that if I did she would have it posted on the First State Bank sign, “Ronnie Mincey is a Quitter!” I found writing my dissertation to receive my doctorate very intense, at many times unpleasant work. I wanted the degree, but I didn’t want to do the work. There are so many other things I wanted to do—books to read, places to go, television shows to watch. But I knew that the consequences of reading the books, going out to eat, and watching television would prevent me from finishing my dissertation on time. Then I would not graduate on time, I would be more in debt for student loans, my salary increase at work would be postponed. But now that the dissertation is finished, I can read the books, go out, and watch those television programs. And the salary increase has been useful.

Hybels lists advance decision making as the second element of discipline. An area where many people fail in discipline concerns money. My mother was a great believer in insurance. To her generation, it was very important to have insurance to provide for burial costs.

When I began teaching at Luttrell Elementary, I was paired in third grade with Diane Jessee. She introduced me to a gentleman who went to her church, Lester Vineyard. Lester was an agent with Jefferson-Pilot, now known as Lincoln Financial. Lester asked me what my long-term financial goal was. I told him I wanted to be able to retire in thirty years with an adequate income to support me through retirement. He showed me various insurance and related financial planning programs that were designed to help me to just that. I made the decision to invest, and it has paid off, though not as great as it would had interest rates remained what they were thirty-one years ago.

There is one area in which I was not wise in the beginning. I told my college girlfriend that I would never have a credit card, and neither would she should we marry. It took me less than the first year of work to get my own credit card (though I lost the girlfriend along the way, wonder why?). It didn’t take long before I owed a huge amount on the cards, and was paying a lot of money in interest.

I had to get to the place where I delayed gratification (not just buying anything I wanted because I had a credit card) and practiced advanced decision making (deciding in advance to buy only those things I needed). Once I did this, I was eventually able to get the cards paid in full, and now I make sure I don’t spend more on a credit card than I can pay in full that month. It took many years and a lot of interest paid out before I learned this valuable lesson. I learned one thing—if you don’t master your money, it will master you!”

If I had more time to write and you had more time to read, I could provide you with endless examples of discipline through delayed gratification and advance decision making.

The third element of discipline is accountability. Sometimes we need a helper to be successful. Perhaps I needed a friend to call me and ask how I was coming along on my dissertation. Perhaps I needed a little friendly competition to keep me on track (nobody wants to be left behind by their buddies). Perhaps I needed someone to help me manage my spending and saving until I could get back on track.

It is so often in our spiritual lives that we need an accountability partner. Perhaps it is someone to read the Bible to over the phone. Perhaps it is someone to pray with. Perhaps it is the person to call and say, “It’s 7:00 a.m. Are you going to be in Sunday School today?”

I have learned a mathematical equation from Hybels:

DELAYED GRATIFICATION
+ ADVANCE DECISION MAKING
+ ACCOUNTABILITY
_____________________________________________
ACHIEVING SUCCESS THROUGH DISCIPLINE

Next week we’ll look at the third of Hybels’ five endangered characteristics of true character.