I was driving down the highway during my lunch break the week before Christmas, on my way to get my allergy shots. I was in the “fast lane,” and I believe any highway patrolman would have found my speed to have been appropriately within the bounds of the law, neither too fast nor too slow.
I received a phone call, but that was not really a problem, as I have “hands free” capability. In a minute or so after receiving the call, I saw a flash of light and looked into the rear view. I saw a vehicle right on my bumper. The vehicle was flashing its lights, wanting me to change lanes so it could continue in the “fast” lane, but at a faster speed, possibly even a speed which law enforcement might not have found acceptable.
Perhaps I should have been more obliging by changing lanes. Perhaps I might have done so if I had not received that particular phone call at that particular time.
And perhaps not. How many times throughout the years of my driving have I passed a “slow poke” who was driving in the “fast” lane by going around him/her in the “slow” lane, and said never a discouraging word? How many times have I passed a slow poke and said many discouraging words that no one but myself and my passengers could hear? In this instance there was no traffic in the “slow lane,” and it would have been little trouble for my tailgater to have passed me in the “slow” lane and have moved back into the “fast” lane at his/her chosen speed.
Eventually my follower did pass me in the “slow” lane. Then the vehicle moved back into the “fast” lane, in front of me, and reduced speed until he/she was driving about half the speed that I had been driving when the lights were flashed. Due to the vehicle’s low speed, I could have seen freckles on the driver’s neck had the windows not been so tinted. I got a really good look at the license plate, however: REAP 3R. When I rose from bed on the morning of this incident I would never have imagined that I would spend a part of my day being tailgated by and closely following “The Grim REAP 3R”!
REAP 3R would have been even more upset to have known what amusement this little episode gave me. I could not help but appreciate the irony—REAP 3R was in such a hurry to get in front of me that s/he obviously did not have time to go around me in the “slow” lane, but certainly had extra time to drastically reduce speed in front of me to prove a point! This incident reminded me of the sign that used to hang above late biology professor Dr. Louis Lutz’s desk at Lincoln Memorial University—WHY WASTE MY TIME WHILE WASTING YOURS?
I suppose REAP 3R was trying to prove a point. I proved my point, but in a subtler way. I stayed right on REAP 3R’s bumper as long as s/he wanted to play the game. In about a minute or two REAP 3R sped up. So did I, but not very much. I returned to the speed I was driving before I ever encountered “The Grim REAP 3R.”
Interestingly enough, REAP 3R and I arrived at the red light practically at the same time. REAP 3R was in the “fast” lane, and I was in the right-hand turn lane. I don’t know if REAP 3R noticed, but I blew my horn at him/her and waved vigorously, in my own way thanking that driver for the most fun I’d had that day (this is perhaps a sad statement of my quality of life) and for the inspiration for this article. My entire encounter with “The Grim REAP 3R” took less than five minutes from start to finish. I hope the incident brought REAP 3R an amount of satisfaction equal to that with which it provided me.
As the cliché would say, “This is my story and I’m sticking to it.” I’m sure REAP 3R might have a different version. If you are reading this article, REAP 3R, I want you to know I meant you no harm. I was simply minding my own business, not trying to purposely spoil your day. I beg your indulgence for my having been inadvertently in your way and adding frustration to your life.
I do want to thank you for not slamming on your brakes while I was following you so closely. I know that you are just as appreciative that I did not suddenly stop in the roadway while you were following me so closely. The incident cost me no time at all, as I was not pressed for time, and obviously you discovered that you had more time than you thought to get where you were going as evidenced by your great reduction in speed.
As we enter into a new year, let us all try harder to get along with one another. A person never knows the burdens another carries that might cause unpleasant and possibly fatal encounters. As the officer used to say at the beginning of every episode of the old police show Hill Street Blues, “Let’s be careful out there.”
My wish for each reader is that this new year is your safest, happiest, and most prosperous ever. I again leave you with thoughts from my email world.
A true Southerner knows you don't scream obscenities at senior citizens who drive 30 mph on the highway.
You just say, “Bless their sweet little heart” … and go your own way.
It was not senior citizens who took the courtesy out of driving.
If you are an average American, in your whole life, you will spend an average of 6 months waiting at red lights.
Frustration is trying to find your glasses without your glasses.
The irony of life is that by the time you're old enough to know your way around, you're not going anywhere.
Every morning is the dawn of a new error.
It isn’t the ups and downs that make life difficult; it’s the jerks. (Charlie Chaplin)
This “killing them with kindness” is taking way longer than I expected.
Don’t pick a fight with an old man. If he is too old to fight, he’ll just kill you.