"Far over the waves. I hear his sweet voice calling me." I first heard this old hymn when I took Hawaiian guitar lessons back in 1940. As I have said before, we were not church-going people. The words were so peaceful with a simple melody. Yeah right. But not when I tried to play it on my student guitar. The "waves" were generally choppy then.

There had been an ad in the newspaper saying, "Learn to play the Hawaiian guitar at only $2.00 a lesson. A student guitar is included. Anyone can learn to play using the simple Oahu Method." Mother figured a little culture in our house wouldn't hurt and I was eager to learn. They said it was easy. I wouldn't have to learn how to read music. The Oahu Method used numerals instead of traditional notes. Anyone could do it.

Okay. But they didn't take into account that I was tone deaf. My musical bucket had several holes in it. I remember back in the sixth grade when the teacher had us go into the closet one by one and sing the "do-re-me's" for her. After several attempts at it, she didn't know where to place me. I think she called my voice a soprano because the class had several sopranos and hopefully, my voice would be lost among them. It took supreme arrogance on my part to think I could learn to play any instrument.

My first problem with the guitar came when I tried to tune it. It was easy, they said. Put the bar down on one string at a certain fret and play the open string next to it. Then continue across the strings until i had it tuned. But what if i didn't get the first set of strings tuned correctly? That could mean that the rest of the strings were out of tune as well. It sounded all right to me until I strummed across the strings. It made my Dad's ears hurt. He tried to help me but he wasn't much better. I would have to wait until i went to class for my teacher to tune it.

Another problem was hearing the correct beat. Dad showed me how to tap my foot and try to play in time with that. Hey, I can't even clap in beat with the others in church. I have to sit there with my hands in the clap position and finally try to clap in unison with them. I would do so quietly until I was sure I was on the same beat, then clap louder.

My eldest son bought me a tambourine to play in church when I was first saved. Could I play it? What do you think? I can't clap. I can't carry a tune. I certainly can't keep the beat. I can sing along silently if I don't know the song, and I can sing lustily if I do. I would advise you not to sit near me in church. I later gave the tambourine to our church.

Back to my guitar lessons. I never learned to play "Over the Waves." It didn't matter really. I never completed the course. We had two guitar teachers. they ran off together and left us hanging. Without someone to tune my guitar, the Oahu Method was lost on me. Oh yes, those two wayward teachers took all our lesson fees with them, too.