I don’t know a lot about the Canary Islands, other than that they were named not for birds, but for dogs. You guessed it, I had to do a Google search. Per that search, I found that “the name for the islands actually came from the Latin term for the island, Insula Canaria, meaning ‘island of the dogs’.”
I think a trip to the Canary Islands might make a lovely vacation. I am sure there would be many tourists that would indeed be sights to see. But one does not have to go to the Canary Islands to find interesting, entertaining people to observe.
I took my wife to her doctor yesterday. There were two elderly gentlemen in the waiting room. One had just over the past weekend moved to Knoxville and did not even know his address. The other seemed just as old as his companion and was helping him complete his paperwork. The one who had just moved to Knoxville was very hard of hearing, seemingly practically deaf. The other gentleman who was helping him called out the questions from the paperwork in a voice that could have probably been heard on the floor below, and still his friend had trouble hearing him. For instance:
“Do you have any bowel problems?”
“WHAT?”
“Are you constipated?”
“No, I’m retired.”
“DO YOU HAVE ANY BOWEL PROBLEMS?”
“ANY BOWL PROBLEMS? JUST GETTING SOMETHING IN IT TO EAT.”
“I SAID BOWEL!”
“NO, THERE AIN’T NOTHING BELOW IT.”
“DO YOU HAVE TROUBLE GOING TO THE BATHROOM?”
“NO, THE BATHROOM WORKS FINE.”
I’m sure many sitcoms were born from conversations like this.
I have for years chosen to wait in the car for my wife when she goes inside a store. Depending on the store, a different class of people can be seen going and coming. Wal-Mart is one of my favorite spots to observe people. The clothing of the clientele varies depending on the season of the year and the location of the store. The more rural the location, the more mixed are the types of people. Some of my particular favorites are those with colored hair (green, pink and purple draw my attention the most). I’m also beginning to wonder how many holes a pair of blue jeans can have before they disintegrate completely.
It is best to park in a well-lighted area as close to the store as possible for safety reasons after sunset. I was once sitting in the van with my stepson while his mother went inside to shop about an hour after dark. “As I nodded, [deeply] napping, suddenly there came a tapping, as of someone [loudly] rapping, rapping at my [vehicle door].” Startled, I opened my eyes to observe a gentleman of little or no means, who asked me if I had any money. Normally I don’t carry cash, but I did happen to have a ten dollar bill, and I gave it to this man to get rid of him.
Another memory I have of people watching happened when Lauren Maness Effler, Jason Bailey, and I were taking a doctoral level class at Lincoln Memorial University at the Cedar Bluff location. We were given an assignment in a research class to conduct observation and share our notes with the class. I’m not sure which one of my compadres had the idea, but we wound up on a bench in West Town Mall in front of Victoria’s Secrets to observe the types of people who shopped there. There we sat—the young, beautiful Lauren, the (words fail me here) present Mayor of Union County, and me, an old man compared to my youthful companions. I remember it being a Saturday morning. I was the designated notetaker, Lauren was the spotter, and Jason was (words fail me again).
It wasn’t long before a security guard came by on his electronic two wheel scooter (I know those things have names, but beats me what they’re called). He wanted to know why we three suspicious people were stalking the patrons of Victoria’s Secret. Alas, we, the observers, were now the observed! To both Jason’s and my credit, we let the lovely Ms. Effler explain to the nice young security officer our purpose for the day’s visit. We just instinctively seemed to know that any explanation from her would be so much better received than any from us.
After my doctoral studies in education were completed, I taught an adjunct writing class at the Sevier County campus of Walters State Community College. I gave my class an assignment to go to a place of their choice and discretely observe others without their knowledge. Then they were to write an essay on their experiences.
I remember one attractive young student saying, “That sounds a little creepy, don’t you think?” I think that is probably what the West Town Mall security guard thought, but who learns from their past mistakes?
I recommend people watching as a pleasant diversion when you find yourself in a public place without other forms of entertainment. Just be sure not to let such observation become an obsession (in other words, don’t become a stalker), and remember, all things work best when those observed are unaware of the attention they are receiving.
I leave you with a question—What was King George VI’s first name? Check out historicunioncounty.com next week for the answer. Consider:

One minute you’re young and fun.
The next, you’re turning down the stereo in your car to see better.