Mincey’s Musings
Year Two, Week Thirteen

To many he was a burden from the moment of conception. He was so unwanted by his birth mother that she tried to abort him six months into her pregnancy. Her efforts failed, but resulted in his premature birth with handicapping conditions that he was to endure for his entire life. There were many who pitied him and felt him nothing more than a prisoner in a deformed body.

His parents abandoned him in the hospital, and none of his blood relatives came to his rescue. His doctors predicted that he would not survive to leave the hospital, would never be able to speak or recognize anyone, and could never even suck through a straw. Even if he by some miracle survived, he would function at such a diminished capacity that he would throughout his life be a burden on the taxpayers to support while producing nothing meaningful.

His father’s stepmother, his step-grandmother, expressed a desire to adopt him. This turned out to be a difficult task. Though his biological parents abandoned him in the hospital, they fought the step-grandmother’s efforts at adoption; nevertheless, she was successful, and the unwanted child now had a mother.

Though an adoptive mother, no mother ever loved a biological child more. His birth defects caused him to need 24/7/365 round-the-clock care. In the beginning, his new mother cared for him alone. He was often hospitalized and required many surgeries to sustain his life. As the years progressed, very slowly his mom was able to obtain services to help her provide for his medical care needs until the young man received round-the-clock nursing care and partial day caregivers to assist the nurses with his care.

But even this was not ideal. In many instances, those who cared for him saw his mother’s input as an intrusion and an inconvenience. They wanted her to stay out of their way and let them do their jobs as they saw fit. It did not matter that Mom had been with him from the very beginning when he was a castoff—they, thanks to their medical training, knew more about his needs than she ever could.

And Mom was persistent, feral in her concern for her son’s well-being. This led in several instances to open hostility from doctors (one who termed her a “frustrated grandmother”) and care providers who should have seen themselves as what they were—employed guests in her home to assist, not dictate, the care provided to the young man. Some care providers were more interested in the drama they could create by promulgating this antagonism and stealing from their patient and his family. There were instances in which the young patient was intimidated by nurses and caregivers to the point of terror. There was even an instance in which a drug-addicted nurse sent to care for the young man was arrested on site due to his possession of illegal substances and his neglect and abuse of his charge’s well-being.

Many times appeals to higher authorities in the offices at the care providing companies multiplied the problems, and appeals to the higher authority of state agencies continued to worsen matters. Laws enacted by uninformed legislators influenced by unknown lobbyists threatened to remove the young man from his home for placement in government institutions. There were instances in which the family felt they were being discriminated against only because they voiced their concerns and sought assistance to improve conditions.

Along the way, there were many people who entered, and ultimately left, the young man’s life, even those who pledged to always be there for him. To all of us who failed this young man in our various ways, from the greatest to the least, the words of Apostle Paul to his young charge in II Timothy 4:14 (KJV) are grim: “Alexander the coppersmith did me much evil: the Lord reward him according to his works:”

Most probably no one except for Mom remained true to her vow to sacrifice all for his best possible quality of life while on this earth. Ironically, this sacrifice was her greatest freedom, for her joy was found in his smallest successes and happinesses. In spite of all obstacles, her efforts resulted in a charming, charismatic young man with a wonderful sense of humor and a strong faith in God that was an inspiration to all with whom he came in contact, particularly those with whom he worshipped in church. His victory over the limitations imposed by a crippled body were a sort of freedom.

Even at the very roughest going there were those who supported this mother in her struggle to provide the best for her child. There was the pediatrician who was the young man’s general practitioner throughout his life, even after he became an adult, whose tireless efforts undoubtedly positively affected both the quality and length of his patient’s life. There are the governors and legislators who fought for the best interest of the underprivileged throughout the years. There was the Legal Aide attorney who was so instrumental in ensuring that the young man got to stay in his home despite legislation that would have dictated otherwise. There were the remarkable lawyers who negotiated peace when all seemed in vain. There were the caring independent support coordinators and their supervisors who provided much support throughout the years to the mother and child. There were the law enforcement officers and the district attorney who supported the young man and his family in prosecution of the drug-addicted provider who jeopardized the young man’s life.

And there were several loving nurses and care providers who saw their vocation as more than just a job and reached into the deepest parts of themselves to make the young man’s life as enjoyable as possible. In so doing, they became better individuals themselves, getting more than they ever expected the young man could give. This is a sort of freedom. To all who supported this young man and others like them speak the words of Matthew 10:42 (KJV): “And whosoever shall give to drink unto one of these little ones a cup of cold water only in the name of a disciple, verily I say unto you, he shall in no wise lose his reward.”

This young man realized his greatest freedom of all when he entered Heaven early on Sunday morning, March 31, 2019, at age 30. It was most appropriate that my stepson, Dustin Ryan Woods, would enter his eternal home on the Lord’s Day, for he lived for Sunday, asking every day throughout the week how many more days it was until church. Now his eternal existence will be one never-ending Sunday with those he loves and who love him. His mother, my wife Mary Ann Townsend Woods Mincey, will realize her greatest freedom when she joins him in that eternity. Her story is reflective of Christ’s love for the world as stated in John 15:13 (KJV): “Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends.”

We could all benefit from these words from the story of the Good Samaritan found in Luke 10: 36-37 (KJV): “Which now of these . . . thinkest thou, was neighbour unto
him . . . ? And he said, He that shewed mercy on him. Then said Jesus unto him, Go, and do thou likewise.”