My daddy taught me how to play ball and to not be afraid of it. But as for my momma, she taught me not to go out into public unless I looked my best. While that included when I wasn’t feeling well, being in pain was another story.
When I woke up, I realized I was hurting in my lower back on the left side. I turned and twisted around in the bed so I could alleviate the pain, but nothing worked. It just became more intense. That’s when I realized I had kidney stones again. At that time, it was 2004. I first had them back in 1983 when I was 18 years old. There was only one thing to do: go to the emergency room.
Thankfully, Tim was off that day. I got him up and then I called Mamaw Jo to stay with Sara and get her off to school. I quickly changed clothes and brushed my teeth. That was it. My main concern wasn’t how I looked but rather how soon I could get out of pain.
It was around 4:30 a.m. when Tim and I left for the ER. I laid down in the back of the truck since it was too painful to sit upright. Also, I had both back windows open. I knew if I got hot at all, I would get sick since I was in a nauseating pain. By the way, it was in the 30s that morning. Tim was such a sweetie. He quietly had the heat on him so he wouldn’t freeze.
Finally, we reached the hospital. While checking in at the ER desk, I couldn’t stand straight. Fortunately, they weren’t too busy and took me on back. First, they performed a stone protocol test. Then they gave me something for pain. Soon I began to feel more human again. Talk about a relief. Then the ER doctor walked into the little room and informed me my test came back positive for kidney stones, so I needed a CT scan. He needed to know how many stones I had and what size they were.
Two orderlies came in and rolled me to have my scan. One was at the head of the bed and the other at my feet. I didn’t think anything about it at first until they rolled me out to the main elevators. That’s when it hit me. I was far from looking my best. Maybe frightening would be an appropriate word. I hadn’t washed my face or even brushed my hair. I remember some people walking up to stand not too far from us. I reached down and pulled my blanket to cover up my face. Yes, I did. That’s when Tim asked: “What in the world are you doing?”
“The Bible says, Woe is me! for I am undone; because I am a man of unclean lips, and I dwell in the midst of a people of unclean lips: for mine eyes have seen the King, the LORD of hosts. Isaiah 6:5 (KJV)”
Why did I cover my face? Because I realized just how bad I looked compared to how I usually look when I am out in the public. In the above verse, The Lord’s presence had filled the temple were Isaiah was. Being so close to the Holy God, Isaiah realized how sinful he and the rest of his people were compared to the Lord. By what or who’s standard to you compare yourself to? If it’s the world’s, you may think you’re doing pretty well. But if it’s God’s, you realize just how much you need to change and grow. After all, His opinion of you is the most important one there is.
My mom came over to the ER that morning. After they released me with some pain meds, she wanted us to grab a quick bite to eat for breakfast. I didn’t want to, but she and Tim were hungry. So, I went and sat there with my oily skin and messy hair while my mother looked good as usual. Oh well, my biscuit and taters were still good.