After helping my mother put up our humble, four-foot artificial Christmas for a few years, the responsibility was turned over to me. I’m not sure Mother was ever really fond of putting up a Christmas tree. I had an unspoken rule that the tree was to be put up two weeks before Christmas and taken down the day after.
We had a string of ten C-7 bulbs with a “flasher” that plugged into the wall. I have never before or since seen a “flasher,” but it was plugged into the end of the string of lights, then the “flasher” was plugged directly into the wall. This device caused the entire light set to flash on and off, much like neon motel lights from olden times that are still occasionally seen in television movies.
I used to sit in my rocker for hours, listening to records on my portable RCA phonograph as those red, blue, green and yellow/orange lights flashed.
I used to gauge the holiday season by the advent of the first Christmas commercial I saw on our black and white, three station set (occasionally four stations if the PBS affiliate WSJK-TV, Sneedville, Tennessee, on Channel 2 was available).
Now that I have access to cable television, I fly just the opposite. I try to see how long into the New Year I can go without seeing some advertisement for Christmas. We all have our “pet peeves,” and one of mine is the gross over-commercialization of Christmas.
A lot of the magic of the holiday naturally leaves as a child becomes an adult and realizes the difference between fantasy and reality, but for me seeing a Christmas commercial or movie almost every day of the year diminishes some of the joy of the season.
Of course, to what is owed the over-commercialization of Christmas? Bottom line—the same thing that dictates practically everything in our free enterprise society—money! Only Jesus could have known the monetary fallout of the celebration of His birthday, now “observed” year round.
You, Dear Reader, might at this point ask why I am writing an article concerning Christmas during the month of October. I guess I’ve joined the fallen ranks. If the Hallmark Channel can show Christmas movies all throughout the year, I suppose I can write one article out of season without too much grief.
A great deal of the revenue surrounding Christmas comes by route of advertisement. I remember the first time I saw the movie A Christmas Story. I still watch it at least once per year (during the Christmas season, preferably on Christmas Eve or Christmas Day, thank you).
I recall the part where Ralphie was so excited to get his Little Orphan Annie decoder ring in the mail. When he finally received it, he locked himself in the bathroom so he could in privacy decipher the secret message, directly from Little Orphan Annie herself, meant exclusively for him.
His excitement mounted until he read the completed message—DON’T FORGET TO DRINK YOUR OVALTINE. Ralphie used a choice phrase of cursing to express his “delight” at receiving this wonderful message.
Part of the joy (if there is any) of advertising is those catch phrases that still play in our older minds after all these years. The fact that I remember these slogans after 40 or so years shows the cost-effectiveness of effective long-term advertising. See if you can remember which products were being advertised with these slogans:
Please don’t squeeze the _______.
You deserve a break today.
Pack up your troubles in a ____ _____ ___ and smile, smile, smile!
It’s the real thing.
You’re gonna’ drink it just for the taste of it.
Where’s the beef?
The richest, most aromatic kind of coffee!
Ring around the collar!
99 44/100th percent pure!
I can’t believe I ate the whole thing!
Double your pleasure, double your fun.
He won’t eat it—he hates everything!
Reach out and touch someone.
How many licks does it take to get to the center of a _______ ____ ___?
Have it your way!
Hold the pickle, hold the lettuce, special orders don’t upset us.
They melt in your mouth, not in your hands.
The breakfast of champions!
We bring good things to light!
Don’t leave home without it.
I am stuck on ____-___, cause ____-___’s stuck on me.
Strong enough for a man, but made for a woman.
“Who wears short shorts?”
Silly Rabbit, ____ are for kids!
Bring the whole crew, it’s the fun thing to do!”
“_-____ is the savings place.”
And there are so many others, but space and time are limited.
Anyone out there remember the days when you would receive the first volume of a set of books in the mail to cause you to want to buy the rest? Remember the occasional free Reader’s Digest condensed book? Remember the days when glassware and towels were included in boxes of laundry detergent and oatmeal? If you bought enough of these products, you would eventually have a bathroom full of towels and a cupboard full of matching glasses.
Advertising is like everything else. Slogans and procedures have to change to continue attracting people’s attention.
Most junk mail gets thrown away. I recently received a cardboard package at work addressed to me. It had a return address that I did not recognize.
The old adage “curiosity killed the cat” came into play, so I opened the package, only to find inside a catalog from a company that had sent me catalogs numerous times. At least they got my attention this time—I had to open the package before throwing the contents into the trash to meet all its predecessors.
There was another day this past June that I was presented in the mail at work what has been to date possibly the most creative advertising pitch I have ever received, a small white box, roughly four and a half inches square and three and a half inches tall.
It also had an unfamiliar return address on it, and curiosity caused me to open the box. Inside was an object wrapped in white tissue paper. This turned out to be some kind of possibly stress relieving “squeeze toy”, a green somewhere between army and lime. It had the company logo and web site directly above two black spots, obviously eyes for this imaginary creature, whatever it might be.
There was more. Next there was a card from the CEO and founder of the company (not handwritten, but mass printed, in case you are thinking this really is too good to be true) inviting me to visit the company’s website so my district could benefit from purchase of the product, as two other Tennessee school districts had done. (I wonder if these two districts received a discount on their purchases in return for being used in advertising?)
Finally, in a small, clear plastic, seal-tight pouch was a four-piece puzzle that further advertised this product. Here the company missed an opportunity. Only one side of the puzzle had anything on it—the advertising potential could have been doubled by printing on both sides of the puzzle.
As if this wasn’t enough, I received a short time later an email from a representative of this company which stated in part, “We hope the alien stress ball (I guessed that one!) we sent you is helping you with the pressure of preparing for a new school year!”
I didn’t even know it then, but it would have taken much more to relieve the pressure of what has to date been one of the most stressful beginnings to a school year I have experienced in 15 years.
Would you like to know the identity of the company that sent me this wonderful advertising package? Sorry, but I have not been paid to be a spokesperson for this product. I suggest you ask educational representatives in the Monroe and Bledsoe county school systems—possibly they were remunerated for the privilege.
So what did I get out of this? A stress ball for my cat to play with (she isn’t interested) and a small puzzle to amuse a child who might wander into my office (hasn’t happened to date). Still, I applaud this company for exhibiting the most creativity in advertising I have possibly ever experienced.
But there are lows in advertising, just like anything else. I have been watching “free to me” episodes of “Young Sheldon” and “The Middle” recently.
I just noticed yesterday a commercial I’d never seen before. (I suppose that’s because I usually fast forward through them, but this is not allowed on the “free to me” feature of which I was taking advantage.)
The commercial featured an attractive woman in flowing clothing done in shades of brown. This woman is within a location that billows with materials that are also shades of brown. She begins the commercial by announcing, “I am my ______ (intimate body part to be inserted by you, Dear Reader).
The first time or two I saw this commercial it obviously didn’t register. Then, my mind started working. How much money would I have to be paid to appear on worldwide television to advertise myself as my most intimate body part?
Then I started thinking about those old Reader’s Digest articles from the 1970s, “I am Joe’s ______.” I also thought about those commercials which went something like, “I’m not a ______, but I played one on TV.”
Personally, I’ll stick with Popeye:“I yam what’s I yam and dat’s what I yam!” As some advertising has shown, it could have been far worse!
May the month of October be kind to you and yours, Dear Reader. I leave you with a few thoughts from my email world.
For the most part true useless facts:
A female ferret will die if it goes into heat and cannot find a mate.
On average, 12 newborns will be given to the wrong parents daily! (That explains a few mysteries…)
There's no Betty Rubble in the Flintstones Chewables Vitamins.
The ten most valuable brand names on earth:
Apple, Coca Cola, Google, IBM, Microsoft,
GE, McDonalds, Samsung, Intel and Toyota, in that order.
Wouldn’t it be interesting if . . .
3M merged with Goodyear and became . . . MMMGood!