If you are as old as I, you will recognize the quoted title above from many episodes of the 1970s television situation comedy Sanford and Son. Junkman Fred Sanford, portrayed by Redd Foxx, called his son Lamont a “big dummy” in practically episode of the series. If you are not as old as I, thanks to the wonders of cable television and retro channels such as METV and Antenna TV, these old shows can become favorites of a new generation.
I have become familiar with a couple of shows that aired on television before my time on earth, Alfred Hitchcock Presents and The Alfred Hitchcock Hour. You can find these listed on your cable lineup, and both are worth a Google search. Alfred Hitchcock was not unfamiliar to me—I have copies of some old issues of Alfred Hitchcock Mystery Magazine, and I have related in an earlier article my experience of seeing Hitchcock’s suspenseful movie The Birds for the first time. The first time I ever heard of Hitchcock was as the director and producer of the famous movie Psycho.
Hitchcock’s name throughout his film and television career became synonymous with suspense. Hitchcock honed his mastery of suspense to a fine art over the years. I would argue that Hitchcock also became a master of irony.
Case in point: Just a few days ago I saw an episode of Alfred Hitchcock Presents titled “The Glass Eye”. I watched this particular episode because of its unusual title and because I noted in the episode synopsis provided by my channel guide that two actors who went on to great acting fame were guest stars. An internet search about the episode (Source: https://the.hitchcock.zone/wiki/Alfred_Hitchcock_Presents_-_The_Glass_E… Retrieved March 9, 2021) relates that this episode was first broadcast on October 6, 1957 as Episode One of the series’ third season.
In the episode’s fascinating storyline, a character named Jim (portrayed by William Shatner almost a decade before he became Captain James T. Kirk of the starship Enterprise) is cleaning out his deceased sister’s apartment. Jim finds a glass eye and tells his wife the story of how his sister came by it. The episode uses flashback, and we the viewing audience see Jim’s sister Julia (portrayed by the legendary Jessica Tandy of Driving Miss Daisy and Fried Green Tomatoes fame) in her thirties. (I thought Ms. Tandy looked older than 39, and I did a little more detective work on my phone’s Google ap while watching the episode. Indeed, in real life Ms. Tandy was well into her forties, and I thought she looked every day of it in the episode.)
Nevertheless, in the story Julia had fallen in love with a famous ventriloquist named Max. She became obsessed with him to the point that she gave up her job and exhausted her funds to travel the country (I believe the story was set in England) to see all of Max’s performances. She wrote him a letter, receiving a reply from Max that he did not receive visitors. She continued her correspondence, and finally Max agreed to meet with her for a very brief time in a very controlled situation. Julia appears at the appointed day and time and finds the object of her affections alone with his dummy named George. [Interesting note: the character who portrayed George—Billy Barty—also portrayed Sigmund in Sid and Marty Krofft’s Sigmund and the Sea Monsters! (Source: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Billy_Barty Retrieved March 9, 2021]
As their conversation progresses, Julia attempts to touch Max. His body falls to the floor. She moves to help him, only to have his head come off in her hands. Mortified, she drops the head on the floor, which causes one of Max’s glass eyes to fall from its socket. She flees in terror as the “dummy” stands to his full height of less than four feet and demands that she leave immediately. Later, when Julia gets back to her hotel room, she finds the glass eye lodged in her clothing.
During my 55 years I have watched a lot of television and read a lot of literature from many genres. It becomes increasingly difficult for me to be shocked or amazed at the ending of stories. At a perhaps simplistic level, dramatic television is nothing but stories brought to life on the screen. A lot of the time, I can guess the ending, or predict what is going to happen in a book I’ve never read or a show I have never seen because of past experience. I loved this particular episode of Alfred Hitchcock Presents first of all for its shock value. I would never have imagined that Max was really the dummy and that the “dummy” George was in reality the ventriloquist.
The other reason I loved this episode is for the irony. Is it not ironic that this poor lady, alone for so many years, finally finds love, only to discover that the man whose image she had come to worship was in reality nothing but a great—big—DUMMY!
How sad it is that this happens in reality more often than not. So many people are in love with the illusion of love, only to find that cold, hard reality wipes all the fantasy away and leaves only a hollow hole where the eye of love was thought to sparkle.
Next week I’ll share with you the story of a giver and a taker, and my giving/getting taken interaction with the same. Until then, Faithful Reader, I leave you with a tidbit of wisdom from my world of email.

The midget fortune teller
who escaped from prison
was a small medium at large.