I’m sure most people have at one time or another in their lives heard of a book titled Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus. It was published in 1992, and is purported to be the ultimate guide to help men understand the opposite sex.
Let me share something with you. I took a class called Marriage and the Family when I was an undergraduate at Lincoln Memorial University. I made an “A”. I have also read the aforementioned book, long before I got married. Neither experience taught me one thing that I have found useful in my own married life.
I did find it interesting that an email from a friend of mine included this statement: “Venus is the only planet that rotates clockwise. (Since Venus is normally associated with women, what does this tell you?) That women are going in the right direction . . .!”
I bet you think that the friend that sent this to me was female, and you would be wrong. What would happen if Earth rotated clockwise rather than counterclockwise, as it does now?
First of all, the sun would rise in the west and set in the east. Day would be night and night would be day. As time is measured going forward each time the earth rotates one time “counterclockwise” on its axis, time would move backward. I would be getting younger and younger! But would that even be possible? If time were going backward, I could not even have been born. I’m afraid neither could you. And what about the seasons? Spring would be autumn and summer would be winter. And what about our reflections in a mirror? Would they be reversed? Would we see things upside down?
Let’s look at it a different way. Nobody ever said Earth was perfect. After all, a year is supposedly exactly 365.25 days long, so to make up for the fractional part we have to add an additional day each fourth year, one leap day in the leap year. (Come to think of it, I believe I’ve heard that on leap day it is appropriate for a woman to ask a man for his hand in marriage. Back’ards?) A person born on leap day (February 29) may only have a birthday once every four years, but that doesn’t stop the biological clock from ticking. I’d personally hate to age four years on each birthday, though the older I get it seems to feel that way.
And don’t forget that every once in a while a second has to be added to the atomic clock. Sounds like my grandfather clock. When I set it on Sunday, I look at the time on the Comcast device and add one and a half minute. Then, by the end of the week, the clock seems to chime in tandem with Comcast’s television playlist. What did the old folks do on the prairies in our country’s early days when they needed to set a clock? I believe they went outside in the middle of a sunny day, and when their bodies didn’t cast a shadow in either direction, it was high noon.
No, Earth is not perfect, but mankind has figured out how to live pretty well in an imperfect world. Add/take away a second here, a day there, etc. Venus, identified with women, might be the only planet to turn clockwise, but how many people from there have you ever met?
So does it say more about women that the planet with which they are associated, though the only planet turning in the “right”(?) direction, is inhospitable to human life as we know it? There’s such an opportunity here for me to be wicked and sarcastic, but so many of my best friends, and the very best people I know, are women; therefore, I will not indulge. My dad might have taken an opportunity to discuss how sometimes things are just “bass ack’ards”!
I was surprised to read somewhere not long ago that a certain individual said he despised columnists. I now we now live in a world where everything offends somebody, but that comment interested me. The thought crossed my mind, “Has he ever read one of my articles?” Perhaps he has. One of my “almost” cousins once told me, “Ronnie, sometimes what you write is pretty good, and other times it’s not worth reading.” I myself agree with him, but I comfort myself that my articles are always at least worth what they cost you.
My wish for you, Dear Reader, is that your week is better than mine, and that my next week is better than the one you’ve had that was worse than my worst. Remember, for almost every one of us, there is someone not too far away who is in worse shape than we possibly will ever be. Let us be grateful for what we have.
I leave you with a few thoughts from my email world.

Why is it unwise to share your secrets with a clock? I guess, time will tell.

An old law in Bellingham, Washington, made it illegal for a woman
to take more than three steps backwards while dancing!

There are two theories to arguing with a woman. Neither works.