“You’re so nice,” my friend Susan told me.

I shook my head and laughed. “No, I just have a Southern momma.”

My Southern momma began my training as soon as I learned how to talk and was able to communicate with others. It’s an old family tradition. My momma received most of her training from Mamaw Girdle/Myrtle.

Unfortunately for my momma, I didn’t take to my training as well as she did hers. I don’t know who was more frustrated: me or my momma.

Being a fidgety tomboy, I couldn’t understand most of the things I was being told to do or not to do. In fact, I saw my “instructions” as not making sense, so I constantly asked, “Why?”

I was usually told, “That’s just the way things are.”

Most of the first things I learned were about behaviors. For instance, it’s rude to make body noises in front of others. You know, no burping or the other thing. That was a huge no-no. No loud blowing of your nose, especially while around the table when others are eating. No scratching. If you had to do any of the behaviors mentioned above, you left the room or went outside.

Let me tell you, when you’re a kid, those are hard not to do.

The more I matured, the more I understood the Southern training my momma had been trying to teach me. Then one day I had a realization. These traditions were not just arbitrary as I used to believe. The majority of them had to do with what is known as the Golden Rule.

“And as ye would that men should do to you, do ye also to them likewise.” Luke 6:31 (KJV)

“She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness.” Proverbs 31:26-27 (KJV)

Basically, my mother was trying to teach me how to treat others as I wanted to be treated. For example:
Don’t bring something in to eat or drink if you don’t have enough for everybody.
Always offer assistance. Go out of your way if necessary.
Don’t speak unkindly of people, even when they have not been kind to you.
Always share, even if it means there’s nothing left for you.
Be kind to others at all times.
Never forget to say “Please” and “Thank you”

But there’s one that really bothers me as an adult. If somebody is kind enough to let me out in traffic, I always thank them. It really, really bothers me if I let somebody else out and they don’t thank me. Once they pull out or cross the road, I immediately look at their license plates. If they have a Tennessee plate and they’re local, I always think, “Your momma didn’t give you any Southern training.”

If you had a momma or any relative who was wise and gave you Southern training, then you are truly blessed. Appreciate her or him and what you have learned. Practice it every day and see what a difference it can make.

And always remember: That’s just the way it is here in East Tennessee. Thankfully.