Mincey’s Musings
Year Two, Week Three

There are probably some older folks left who remember Art Linkletter. I barely remember him myself. According to Wikipedia:

Arthur Gordon Linkletter (born Arthur Gordon Kelly . . . or Gordon Arthur Kelley . . . (sources differ), July 17, 1912 – May 26, 2010) was a Canadian-born American radio and television personality. He was the host of House Party, which ran on CBS radio and television for 25 years, and People Are Funny, on NBC radio and TV for 19 years . . .

Interestingly, particularly in light of recent events regarding immigration, Wikipedia points out that in 1943 Linkletter pleaded guilty to falsely claiming US citizenship . . he was fined $500 and permitted to apply for citizenship. Wikipedia also states that:

One of Linkletter's lasting legacies are the many light hearted interview segments with children which appeared regularly on his daytime House Party program entitled Kids Say the Darndest Things. A bestselling series of books soon followed which contained the humorous comments made on-air by these children.

I remember we had a copy of one of Linkletter’s books in my earlier years entitled Kids Say the Darndest Things. A joke my good friend Sharon MacDonald once told me revealed the fact that the reason children say these things is because they often don’t understand what is being said; therefore, they frame their repetitions based upon their own knowledge base.

It seems there was once in the rural area of Kentucky a new kindergarten teacher, Miss Meek. She was a small, petite, very attractive, soft-spoken lady, just the kind that stereotypically one would expect to teach small children. The district in which she taught was in one of the state’s most poverty-stricken areas, which explained in part why her classroom was in a portable building unattached to the main school.

One day after school an angry parent came to her classroom door. Miss Meek recognized him as Mr. Stark, young Penny Stark’s father. This six foot tall gentleman with the flaming red face was somewhat intimidating to the young teacher, but she understood that in teaching one sometimes encountered disgruntled parents. She was of the firm belief, however, that most misunderstandings could be resolved if teachers listened to parents and tried to understand the reasons for the controversy. With such a spirit the teacher engaged the parent in conversation.

“Yes, sir, may I help you?” she politely inquired.

“Woman, you’re a sorry excuse for a teacher. You’re not fit to even stand in front of these innocent children,” the man bellowed. He ran his thumbs up and down his overall galluses, possibly to prevent himself from reaching out to do the young teacher harm, she thought.

“Sir, I don’t understand why you are so upset. Come in and let’s sit down and talk about it.”

“I wouldn’t lower myself to sit down alone in a room with a trashy woman like you!” he screamed.

“What causes you to feel this way?” she questioned.

“The dirty things you say to these young’uns, you ain’t fit for decent folk!” he declared.

“Sir, I assure you, I have never said a dirty thing to any child in my entire life, not even when I was a child,” Miss Meek stated.

“Well, you must not have had decent raising, if you think what you say is good talk!”

“What is it I said?” Miss Meek asked.

“I’m ashamed to say it in front of a woman, even if that so-called woman is a thing such as yourself.”

Miss Meek persisted until finally Mr. Stark muttered through clenched teeth, “Did you or did you not tell these children that you were going to bring a sack of peters in here and show it to them?”

It is a wonder that Mr. Stark did not attack Miss Meek, but when he said this she doubled over in laughter. She laughed until she cried and had to sit in the floor. The only thing that kept Mr. Stark in check was his amazement that Miss Meek found his outrage funny.

When she regained her composure, Miss Meek said to Mr. Stark, “Oh, Mr. Stark, that’s not what I said. I told them that tomorrow I was going to introduce them to a set of encyclopedias.”

There is often a “stark” difference in what adults say and what children hear. When I was principal of Sharps Chapel Elementary School almost a quarter of a century ago, a strapping third grade boy was sent to me because he had misbehaved in class. As he sat in my office, he asked me, “Mr. Mincey, how did you get elected principal?”

I explained to him that I was not elected, but appointed by the Board of Education. I asked out of curiosity, “Just in case I was running for principal, would you vote for me?”

He replied, “I don’t know, are you a Republican or a Demo-crap?”

As Art Linkletter said, “Kids say the darndest things!”

I leave you with another pearl of wisdom from the land of email:

A wife to her mother-in-law: Don't teach me how to 
handle my children. I am living with one of yours and he needs a lot 
of improvement!?