Have you ever had somebody ask you for help, but they didn’t want the help you offered? I have been on both sides of this.
Just in case you don’t know this is about me, I’m a geek. Here’s a good example: I actually enjoyed math classes, well, except for Geometry. I took it my sophomore year in high school. To say it was a struggle for me is an understatement. Equations I could figure out. To me they were like working a puzzle. Geometry was like a knotted ball of Christmas lights that I couldn’t untangle. After several frustrating attempts, I would get to a point where I would scream in frustration and throw the strand of lights away. Except I couldn’t throw my class away.
I really needed to pass it, so I asked a friend to help me. He was brilliant and excelled in all of his classes. Even Geometry. Actually, I had hoped hanging around him and his friends would rub off on me. They didn’t. There was this one Geometry problem I simply couldn’t figure out. I had worked and worked on it to no avail. In desperation, I asked him help me with it. He readily agreed and began to go over the same stuff my teacher had. He soon realized that instead of his help, I wanted him to work the problem for me. He said he would if I really wanted him to, but I wouldn’t learn a thing from it. That was one of those moments when you hate to admit that somebody else is right. So, I agreed and he worked me through it.
Fast forward twenty-two years. At this time, I was married and our daughter Sara was a little girl. I had a cousin who asked me to help him learn algebra. He said it would help him with his job. I agreed. Unfortunately, I had forgotten to ask him how much of it he knew if any. So, I decided to start with some number properties that I had learned when I took that class. I printed them out so he could take them home. The evening he came over, he was so excited. That is until I started going over the properties. His face expression became a combination of surprise and insult. Then he told me: “I’m not doing that.” I tried to explain that I had to learn them too because they were a foundation to build on. He shoved the paper with the properties printed on it away from him. “I told you that I am not doing that!” When I asked my cousin why, he refused to answer me. To this day, I don’t understand his reaction.. I asked my husband Tim if my cousin expected me to wave a magic wand and the knowledge just pop into his head.
“Withhold not good from them to whom it is due, when it is in the power of thine hand to do it.” Proverbs 3:27 (KJV)
If you have the chance and/or ability to help somebody, then you should do it. Of course, I’m talking about positive things. Also, it doesn’t have to be a major undertaking. Helping them mow their yard or cooking them a meal can mean more than you realize.
“Without counsel purposes are disappointed: but in the multitude of counsellors they are established.” Proverbs 15:22 (KJV)
On the flip side, if somebody is offering you help, don’t be quick to reject it. Maybe it’s something that God has put in motion to benefit you or prepare you for something in the future. If you’re not sure, pray about it.
So, did my cousin ever learn algebra? I have no idea. We never discussed it again. But I did get to help Sara when she studied fractions by creating a whole page of fractional problems for her to solve. Let me tell you, I so enjoyed that. I think that’s when she realized just how big of a geek I am.